In a sudden, tragic loss some people sometimes feel diffrently about things. At times to others it may seem strange or uncalled for. Others may not understand the constant feeling of being deserted and thus it turns into anger. Sometimes if you have anger for a person for a period of time and do not vent it towards that person. And before that person is gone, it may result in harming or trying to hurt the loved ones of the one who they initally had sour feeling for.
By no means do not think that there is a person on this earth that does not have a hater. All of us do. And to say someone is trying to hurt the loved ones of Andrea here would be quite accurate, I think.
I have mixed feelings on this forum with closing it down. I too believe that there should be a lasting tribute for friends, fans, and family alike that is accessible too all. And this forum is part of that. On the other hand I see the negative posters taking advatage of this freedom to spread ill will towards a loving memory. And to close it would definately stop that. Stop that, here anyway. They would move on somewhere else.
If I look at this thru how Andrea would view it. These negative posters would be no big deal. In fact, I bet you they wouldn't even be here if Andrea were here to deal with it. Because, frankly she would tell them that she just don't care on how they felt about her. To her they would be a mute point. People like them, she shrugged off without any problem. And to tell you the truth some of them she already has done exactly that when she was living. I can tell you for sure that the only thing she would be pissed at is the remarks about her friends, sister and family. I could go into her personal life and relationships and things she told me about who, and about what effected who. But now that makes no diffrence. She loved her family, her friends, among others. No matter what the young lady did for a living, and no matter why and what for, it should not matter. In the end, we are all the same.
She had unknowingly taught me that in this world it is not about the negatives in life. It's about the positives that you get out of it. Too try to share it with the people that want to share it with you. Not to dwell on the negatives. I believe this is one of the things (not the only thing) that made her a strong person.
For the people here that hate. I know you think you hate Andrea. But in reality you hate yourselves. Why on earth would you otherwise slander a passed ones name? She don't hear it. You get nothing out of it. You want to believe you do because it might temporarly make you feel better. When in turn after a little while it makes you actually feel worse because it reminds you of your failure(s). And thats why you continue. I can understand because I once could not forgive. It's like a drug for you. Now I have learned. And I feel better about who I am, and am convinced on what kind of person(s) you are.
So now that I see you thru Andrea's eyes I will shrug my sholuders and say to you "who cares what you think." And continue here with the positives. And urge all the positives on this forum to also continue. To shrug your shoulders and treat these negatives the same way Andrea would. Not dwell on them. Maybe read there comments shrug and move on without a comment. Since they already know how we feel about Andrea and about them, there really is not much left to say. And thats what exactly I am going to do. I don't care what they think of Andrea. It doesn't matter what they think. They have a very low relfection in the mirror of themselves. And really by commemting on their comments is making me, make them feel better. So for Andrea I give you negatives a shrug and who cares.
Does it really matter where they move? Or do not move? If they couldn't be here because of one reason or another and if they wanted to get a message accross they would.
And I prefer this forum even if with negative remarks. Most of the posters here genuinley care about Andrea. I think that is evident. Are the negative posts a blemish and demeaning? Yes. I prefer not to have them either. But on this kind of forum we have to live with it as of now. And to post here I don't have to go thru a bunch of crap just to get on to post. Which I like.
Victor, the sensless words cannot take away from the kind of person Andrea was. I think everyone here knows that. I have said there are a few diffrent posters posting under various names to make it look like there is an overwhelming support for the bad. I know you care. This has always been and always will be evident. The fact is no matter what you or I do we will not be able to say I love you too or for Andrea enough. And the negative words are not fair to anyone. They state their opinions that seem to us wrong. So, let them be wrong.
They know they are wrong. If I said that Adolf Hitler was really a saint trying to do Gods work and agreed with his point of view this would also offend people. By the way this IS NOT my stance on it. But I would try to justify this if I was passionate enough about it. But it would be wrong.
I had done a lot of thinking about it last night as well as today. And I think I would want to go with the way Andrea would go. And that is not to close this forum. There would be a couple of people taking away a very special place otherwise just because of senseless, and untrue words. She would not want this to be the case. The ultimate tribute to her in my opinion would to run this site as she would want it ran. And to be truthful the negative post do not deserve a second glance. And should not recieve them. But that is up to us. If we give up on this forum because of these people and Andrea would of known of this it would of broke her heart. Even though I agree with you that these individuals are tasteless. If these posts are to be removed I think the word should come from Lucie. Not us. She does not come here everyday. But I bet you she still looks in on us now and then. Same with all of Andreas friends that at one time posted. The words that pop up that are untrue hurt. But if we know they are meaningless then that truely what they are.
I believe this is a special place. The only place where family, friends, and fans can be at the same time. Just because it hasn't happened recently does not mean it will never happen again. As a personal friend of Andreas and able to swallow this I ask anyone else to also do so. Not because you don't really care. But because you do. And I honestly believe she would want it this way. And that is the only reason I am willing to tolerate it. If Lucie or Chris wants to handle it another way I will respect that.
Below is a copy of a message in another topic, but it is relevant here. Thank you for your support in reading my many postings. Au revoir from London.
Thanks for all your writings and efforts, Para and other admirers of Lea De Mae.
I hope this Forum will one day be restored and made fit again for the purposes for which it was created, namely for the friends, admirers and well-wishers of Lea/Andrea to support her struggle and then later, after her death, to honour her memory.
I do not consider the Forum is presently being used in accordance with these principles.
The malevolent abuse postings displayed are an outrage and disgrace and steps have still not been taken to discourage such latest abuse.
This Forum is entitled "IN LOVING MEMORY" not "I Spit On Your Grave!" - why then are malicious posters allowed a free hand here?
I cannot add anything to what I have written above and in previous postings.
cc. Monica Sweetheart, Los Angeles.
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Frank
Date:
RE: What's, What and Who's, who and ending the forum
Even though some people came her just to insult Andrea, her family and her friends, i think, this forum is a very special place and I'm reading what is written here at least every two or three weeks. I hate it, that some idiots found this place and use it to write ****, maybe because they are little kids who think this is funny, maybe because they like it to hurt others. And I can imagine, how much some of those postings may harm especially Andrea's family, when they read them.
But this forum has it good sites, too. I knew nothing about Andrea (besides her job), before I read what Chris wrote about her on her side. And the picture of her, I got from this, became sharper from many of Para's postings. Reading about her tolerance and her kindness made me think about myself and how I treat other people. If someone would have told to Andrea, that her death would have such an impact on others, maybe she wouldn't have believe it, but I don't want to miss the positive influence, some of the words about her had on my life. That's one of the reasons why I still love this forum.
