It's almost been a year. And it seems not that long ago. Andrea has been almost constantly on my mind as of late. My heart feels so empty without her. Yet I know she is still with me. It really is so hard to explain. But I am sure some of you know and understand what I am saying. Maybe its that regret that we take for granted? The time we think we have with eachother. Then all of a sudden it stops. Do we take our time because we want to make it last? 

Last night I went back on the thread and read thru. I realize now, that I was so lucky to have known Andrea. I wish and thought I would have more time. More time with her, her friends, to share what was going on with eachothers life. To meet people. It is sad. Though it did turn out that we could not personaly spent a lot of time together (face to face) we shared a lot. I really wish I could stand with her with my arms around her and tell her how much of a diffrence she made in my life. How much she meant to me. I think inside she knew as I did. But it never came out. Anyway, there is an obvious void in me that just either cannot or just refuses to fill up. At times I am flirting with depression upon losing her. For a year I have put on a lot of pounds and drinking heavily. I think my mind wants to forget. But my heart will always say never forget. I must really tell you and I know you all know this. But for someone to effect me like she did, has to be a very special person. And a lot of you that come here to read, post, have been touched by her in one way or another too. I really feel bad about taking so much space on the threads. But please understand that it is my way to remain close.